Not Dead, Still Standing
by Spuffy1192
Summary: Spike was captured by The First in season seven, and bled over The Seal, but everything after that was just a dream! Or was it? Spuffy!
1. Not Done

Not Dead, Still Standing..

Chapter One- Not Done Yet

Spike's loving gaze washed over Buffy, yet again. But was this for the last time?  
"Go on, then." He said with a slight smile.  
"No! No- you've done enough! You could still…"  
"No, you've beaten them back. It's time for me to do the clean up."  
Everything shook again, rocks falling in all around them. It was true. The Hellmouth was closing for good.  
Faith; almost out, yelled to Buffy. "Buffy, come on!" Faith took one more pleading look at Buffy before she jumped out of The Hellmouth and into Sunnydale High.  
"Gotta move, lamb. I think it's safe to say school's out for bloody summer."  
"Spike!"  
"I mean it! I gotta do this!" Spike's voice finally rose to the same level as Buffy's, not calm one, as he put a hand out to stop her from coming closer.  
The light from the amulet becomes even brighter, and Buffy joins her hand with Spike's, which engulfs in flames. They ignore the flames, still looking deep in each other's eyes.  
"I love you." Buffy's voice was desperate, and small. There was a pause.  
"No you don't, but thanks for saying it." Spike smiled ironically.  
They shared one last look between them. Two souls, who could never make it, but survived all the same, the ground, began to crumble under their feet.  
"Now go!"

She looked at him one more time and ran out of The Hellmouth.  
Spike looked around him in pain. He stares all around the falling Hellmouth, and smiled sardonically.  
"I want to see it end." He began to burn up, inside to out, until he was nothing but a pile of dust in what was Sunnydale.

Spike's eyes flew open and he moaned. One eye was swollen shut, and he couldn't see too well out of the other one either, but he instantly knew where he was. He took a blurry look around The First's Cave.  
"Damn."


	2. Just A Dream

Not Dead, Still Standing.

Chapter Two-

Disclaimer- I own nothing, NOTHING I TELL YOU, NOTHING! It's all the wonderful mind of Joss!

Buffy wondered around her room getting ready. It had been an hour since she had killed the Uber-Vamp. Now it was time to go find Spike. She had a feeling she would need his vampire strength soon.

Spike sat against the wall of the cave, trying to ignore the taunts The First was sending his way in the from of Buffy.  
I can't believe it. It felt so real. All of it, Buffy coming here, saving me. All of it. Angel coming. The pain from the amulet. It was all a dream. Spike sighed.  
"You know why I haven't come for you?" The First cooed in his ear. "Because I don't need you. Not anymore, you're weak, and useless."  
Spike remained silent. The First changed into Drusilla.  
"Come play dollies with me, my Spike."  
Silence.  
"Spike? You said you loved me. Eyeballs to entrails. Why do you turn to the nasty Slayer? You turn from you're mummy, to go with her. Even now. Why, Spike? Why do you go to her?"  
"Dru, luv. Why don't you go find Angelus? You can go play with him."  
"Oh we will, my poor little Spike. We will. As soon as we fix you. And you can get me a new birdie! La, la, la!"  
"You know what I think?"  
"What?" Drusilla clapped her hands in excitement.  
"You don't do a good Drusilla. She was crazier than you. This little thing, to get into my head…its just sad." Spike said, coughing.  
The First turned into Spike himself.  
"There you go again, mate. Blabbing your big mouth. But you're right. Nothing like, Dru. And if I can't hurt you in the mind…I can think of other ways. I just need their help, that's all."  
The harbringers appeared and picked Spike up. He struggled against them, but to little use. He was weak now. He wasn't sure how much longer he would make it. Being tied to the metal ring again, he got it now. The harbringers, pulled on the rope, sending him up into the air. One picked up a long rod, with a knife on the end. Spike yelled as they carved symbols into his body, bleeding him, for who knows what.


	3. Saving Him

Not Dead, Still Standing.

Chapter Three- Saving Him  
Spike had been placed down off of the giant metal ring, still starring at the new Uber-Vamp. _So now there is two of them. Great.  
_Spike shut his eyes and tried to fall asleep, it would help the pain.

When Spike opened his eyes the cave around him was empty. He sighed in relief. But that's when she walked into the 'room'. His beautiful Slayer, standing there, knife in hand.  
"You're not…her." Spike's voice was weak, as was the rest of him from days of The First's minions torturing him. "You're just…a-a bloody figment…of my imagination. S-she'll…"  
Buffy walked over to him. _God, he looks bad. Worse than when Glory…god._  
"You can't…hurt me…not anymore. She'll…come for…me."   
She reached up, flinching as he flinched, and started to cut his arms free of their bands.  
Spike looked at her, awe clear in his eyes. He put his arm on his shoulder, making sure she was really there. When he made contact, he let out a cry. And with that, a teary eyed Slayer, lead a crying Spike out of his prison.

Buffy walked into her house, carrying Spike.  
"Oh my god, Buffy." Willow walked over to her.  
Buffy looked into her living room, all the girls, and the gang were still gathered.  
"What happened?" Dawn asked, joining the two.  
"He passed out on our way here. Probably from lose of blood. Help me get him upstairs…" Buffy and Willow carried Spike into Buffy's room, and laid him on the bed.  
Giles, Dawn, and Xander walked in. "God Buffy, what'd they do to him?" Xander asked, actually sounding worried.  
"I'm not sure. He's in pretty bad shape though. When I found him, I think he thought I was The First." She sat on the bed beside the unconscious vampire.  
"It's possible The First mentally tortured him, along with the uh, rather obvious physical abuse." Giles sighed.

"Will he be okay?" Dawn asked her sister.  
"I think so. We need to get him some blood."  
"Is that really all we can do?" Willow asked, the question directed to everyone.  
The Slayer sighed, "For now? I think it is."


	4. Tell Me Everything

Thanks spike-slayer29590 for reviewing.

Not Dead, Still Standing

Chapter 4- Tell Me Everything

Spike opened his eyes, frantically looking around. After all that had happened he was extremely confused. He remembered all of what had happened, or he thought he did. Everything was jumbled. _Buffy. Angel. Amulet. First crunched. All a dream._ Spike tried to sit up, but fell backwards. He knew this place. He was at Buffy's. In her room? Her bed? _Maybe it was a dream that it was a dream. Maybe I survived the school, and Buffy brought me back here. No. Even if it wasn't a dream…the pain, the hellmouth…I couldn't have lived through that. Or unlived for the matter. _  
Spike was drawn out of his thoughts by the soft sound of the door opening. Buffy walked in, a slight smile on her face. "Hey."  
Spike tried to sit up again, this time managing, but still leaning against the headboard. "Hey."  
"Willow's gone to get blood." She sat down on the bed beside of him.  
"Nice…of 'er." Spike coughed out.  
A frown played across Buffy's face.  
"It looks worse than it is." He gave her a weak smile.  
"Yes, because being tortured by The First is full of puppies and flowers."  
"I…" He looked down, then back up at her, directly in the eyes.  
"What?"  
"I think I have something to tell you. There was a vampire. The First…it bled me over the seal…and this thing came up from the Hellmouth."  
She smiled, putting her hand on his hand. "I know. It's all dusty now though, so it doesn't matter."  
Spike nodded slowly, then smiled. "Right Bastard, him…deserved what he got. But there's another one, they bled me again…I think."  
"You think?"  
"Yeah…I'm not sure." He looked embarrassed.  
"Well that's okay, a lot happened to you."  
"No. Well, yes, but that's not what I mean. I…had a dream. I had a dream about the end."  
"The end?"  
"It started with you coming and getting me from the cavern. And…a lot happened."  
Buffy got comfortable on the bed before facing him again, looking very serious.  
"Tell me."

The next two hours they spent just like that. Spike told Buffy everything, with great detail. Every once in a while he would shut his eyes, picturing everything he remembered. He told her about the Scythe, how her friends kicked her out of her house, Faith coming, Angel coming and leaving, their last nights together, and all the potentials becoming Slayers.

Buffy faced Spike in awe. They were both lying across the bed, facing each other. He was getting a little worried; she hadn't said anything in a few minutes.  
"Wow." She finally breathed. "Do you think it can happen?"  
"I really don't know. It's all just so…jumbled you know? The 'dream'…it was _so_ real. I saw everything. I felt everything. I felt the pain when I saw you with Angel. Felt my fist connect with Faith's jaw. Felt the flames in the Hellmouth. When I woke up…it was all just surreal. I couldn't believe it didn't happen." He shook his head and sighed, lying his head down.  
"Blood. Willow must have just put it in the fridge, I'll go get you some." She started to get up but felt his arm on hers.  
"It's okay." She reassured him before getting up and leaving.

Buffy walked into the kitchen and saw Dawn and Willow sitting by the counter talking.  
"Hey Buffy."  
"Hey Wils."  
"What's up?" Dawn beamed at her sister. She had spent a _lot_ of time upstairs with Spike.  
Buffy took a packet of blood from the fridge and put it into a mug, placing it in the microwave. "I'm not sure yet. I need to get Spike some blood and then we need to call a Scooby meeting."  
"What's wrong?" Willow started to get worried.  
"I guess we'll see." Buffy took the mug and went back upstairs.  
"Not a good sign." Willow sighed, Dawn just nodded in agreement as they both watched the spot were Buffy had been.

About half an hour later Giles, Xander, Anya, Willow, Dawn, Buffy and Spike were gathered in the living room. Dawn, Anya, Xander, and Willow were cramped up on the couch, Giles was leaning up against the wall, while Spike sat in a chair in front of them all, Buffy standing beside him.  
"Spike…had a dream. About the apocalypse." Buffy started openly.  
"Is it a prophecy dream?" Giles asked almost excitedly.  
"I'm not sure. That's why I want him to tell you what he told me. See what we all think."  
The room was silent. Buffy nudged Spike. "Go on."  
"Are you sure this is a good idea. Want me to tell them _everything_?" He wasn't sure it was such a good thing telling her friends about _their_ business from his dream, especially about their last few nights together.  
Buffy got his meaning and was quiet for moment, "Everything."


	5. Not Letting Go, It's Now Or Never

Not Dead, Still Standing

A/N: Please read and review.

Chapter Five- Not Letting Go, It's Now Or Never

The room had been silent for several minutes. Spike had told the story, nonstop, with no interruptions. After a few more minutes, Xander spoke.  
"I'm gonna say dream." Everyone looked at him. "What? It so reflects dream! Okay, so nobody would find it normal if Spike had a dream like that?" Everyone just continued to look at him. "Oh come on! Buffy tells him she loves him; he gets to play hero and save the world. And I lose an eye!"  
"He does have a point." Giles looked at Buffy and the room went silent again.  
"He does." Spike nodded, looking towards the ground, getting everyone's attention. "That all does seem like my happy ending doesn't it? But I can't shake this feeling I got. That wasn't just some ordinary dream. I felt it." He looked up at the room, something hitting him. "And I know a way we can find out." He jumped out of his chair, staggering in pain for a moment and walked over to get his duster, which was hanging by the door. He grabbed a blanket that was draped over the side of the couch.  
"Spike!" Buffy and everyone else stood. "What are you doing?"  
"The vineyard!" He looked her hard in the eyes. "If it's there, the scythe, we know it wasn't just a normal dream, if it's not…then we know I'm insane. Either way, I'm gonna go find out."  
"I think we already knew you were insane."  
"Xander, be quiet!" Buffy snapped, and turned to face her friends. "I'm going with Spike. The rest of you, find something to do. And send Andrew to the grocery store, the girls are complaining." With that she walked out the door, soon followed by a blanket covered Spike.

Buffy and Spike were walking along in the sewers. Neither had said a word to each other since they left the Summers's residents.  
Buffy was watching Spike closely as they kept walking; he was at least two feet in front of her at all times, his pace fast and forceful. He stopped; turning and facing her, he winced as she ran into him.  
"_What_ are you doing?" He asked as Buffy pulled herself from him, taking several steps back.  
"What am _I_ doing? What are _you_ doing?"  
"You keep looking at me."  
Buffy rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, why don't you tell the teacher and she'll put us in separate corners."  
"Ju-just stop it, okay?" He started walking off again, "You're bugging me."  
Buffy sighed, turning him around by the shoulder. "What's up with you Spike?"  
"Nothing. Not feeling so hot…but I guess I never do, no body heat n' all but you know what I…"  
"Spike!" She yelled forcefully.  
"It's nothing! I just…want to get this done is all."  
"Why? Why is this so important?"  
"I want to now if it was really just a dream, okay?"  
Her voice softened, "Why?"

Looking down, he shrugged, "Everyone else does, too."  
"Not this bad."  
"A bloke has to have something to believe in dun' he?" He looked her in the eyes. "Everything that happened…we got close. That's never happened before. It was nice. I'm not ready to let go of that."  
Buffy smiled at him. "Then don't."  
His eyes got hopeful, "What does that mean?"  
"It means that…" God how she wanted to tell him that she, unlike Xander, thinks the dream may not just be his wish, that it could happen. That after everything they had been through together she finally felt like they were moving on from the hurt they caused each other, moving closer together. But she couldn't. "…it means that…we'll find out what happened to you in the cavern. Whether it was just some trick The First pulled on you or not." He looked at her for a moment before nodding, and then they both silently continued walking towards the vineyard.

Spike and Buffy walked into the vineyard. Buffy sighed in relief. Either Caleb hadn't gotten there yet, or he was just some figment of Spike's imagination. She wasn't sure she wanted to be true.  
"So…where would it be?" She said looking around. The whole place was dark, no lights of any kind.  
"I'm not sure. I wasn't with you when you actually got it. I'm just the before and after party remember?"  
The quietly searched a few more minutes. The Slayer had a strange tingly feeling down her spine as she walked to the other side of the room. All of her senses were on edge; she was readying herself for anything that may happen.  
She stopped suddenly when she heard a creaking sound. Looking down, she saw she was on some kind of old wooden door, leading into the ground. She smiled, and grabbed on to a little handle on one end, and pulled hard on it until the door slammed open, sending clouds of dust around her.  
"Spike."  
The vampire appeared a few seconds later, and came to stand beside her.  
They both stared down, into the opening, light coming from it.  
"Now or never." Her voice was shaky.  
Spike took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Now." Then, hands still connected, they both made their way down.

A/N: Please review!


	6. The Scythe

Thanks to those who reviewed. zanthinegirl, spikes-slayer29590, and PPMKatie. I hope you like where this is going…you know…once I figure out…where it's going.

Not Dead, Still Standing

Chapter Six- The Scythe

Buffy's mind was racing as her and Spike walked down the long, curvy, path; hands still connected. _What if it's there? Does that mean Spike saw the future? What if he did? Do I really love him? And if it is going to happen, why did he see it? Can I stop some of these things from happening? Xander's eye? Anya? And…Spike. I can't knowingly let him die. But then this could all be some joke played by The First, or just a dream. And even if it is, I still don't know how I feel about Spike, and…_  
Buffy's thoughts were pulled to reality as she heard Spike's voice.  
"Buffy? Pet?"  
Her eyes snapped to look at him. They had stopped walking, and he was starring at her very close. "Yeah?"  
"You okay?"  
She looked nervous for a second. "I'm fine."  
"Then would you mind laying off the pressure?"  
"The press-oh!" She looked at their connected hands. She was squeezing his hand so tight her knuckles were white, and his hand was turning an unattractive shade of blue. "Sorry!" She said releasing his hand like it was on fire. (A/n: haha...hand on fire...get it?)  
Spike sighed, taking a chance. He grabbed her hand back, settling it into his own. Buffy only looked at him strangle for a moment before they continued walking.  
"So, what were you thinking about?"  
Buffy looked him in the eyes, then turning her head, deciding that wasn't the best thing to do. She hated herself for being able to get so lost in his eyes, and she hated herself for hating herself. What was so wrong about getting lost into the blue orbs that had always shown her exactly what the vampire was feeling? "I was thinking about what it means if the scythe is here, and what it means if it's not."  
"And what's the conclusion?"  
"Huh?" She looked up at him.  
"What's it mean?" He raised an eyebrow at her. For a reason beyond his knowledge, Buffy blushed, and turned her head away.  
"So far? I'm not sure." The Slayer sighed, "It could…"  
"Buffy!" Spike let go of her hand and ran across the room, to a gigantic rock. And in that rock, stuck out the Scythe.  
Buffy's eyes got big as she walked over to him. "T-that's it?" She had been expecting something a little less…powerful. This thing defiantly gave off a vibe, and one she liked.  
"This…is it." He smiled. "So come on, go get it."  
"Get it?" Buffy was still slightly dazed, although she seemed to be all the time, since Spike told her about his 'dream'.   
"Yeah." He looked at her, 'duh' clearly written all over his face.  
"Right." Buffy shook her head. "King Author bit." She walked up to the stone, put her hand on the Scythe's handle, and pulled. The weapon easily came out. The petite blonde, walked over to her bleached-blonde ex. "This kind of makes things more confusing, doesn't it?"  
Spike nodded, "That is does." He tried to keep an even tone, although he was thrilled to see the Scythe. Now he really did have something to hold on to.

A/N: Well? What do you think? I hope you liked it! And yes, I know, that the room were the Scythe was wasn't that big or that far down, but their little walk stalled them, so they could talk. ;-) Please Review!


	7. Together

Not Dead, Still Standing

Chapter 7- Together

After finding the Scythe, Buffy and Spike headed towards the Summers's house again. That's when the real fun started. As soon as they walked in, they could see the living room filled with people. All The Scooby's and the potentials sure filled up the place.  
"Buffy!" Dawn walked over to her and Spike, much like when Buffy had brought him home after rescuing him. "Was it there?"  
Buffy gestured to the Scythe in her hand and gave Dawn a 'hello!' look.  
"Right…sorry."  
The couple entered the living room the way they entered the house. Holding hands.  
Buffy spoke before anyone else, she wanted to say what she knew, before the questions started. "Alright…Spike and I went to the vineyard, and we found the Scythe." She raised it up with her left hand; still not noticing her right hand was connected to Spike's. "Now…did the potentials get the cliff-notes of what Spike saw?"  
"They did." Xander looked up at her, "And probably way more than they needed to know."  
"More than they needed…what do you mean?" Buffy looked at the young girls.  
"Well, we told the girls about the vision thing…what they needed to know…" Willow spoke. "And it seems Dawn and Andrew may have filled in certain areas…on particular subjects."  
"Bloody hell." Spike rolled his head back and sighed.  
"What do you mean 'particular subjects'? And how the hell did Andrew know anything?"  
"I confess!" Andrew stood up dramatically, his hands in the air. "I was listening outside the door. But it wasn't just me! Dawn told them too! Please don't hurt me!" Andrew fell to his knees, his hands up; the classic begging position.  
"And what exactly did you tell the young, impressionable, teenage girls, Andrew?"  
The room was silent. Then Giles, removing his glasses, answered her question. "They told them about you and…Spike. Your…last few days together."  
Buffy sighed, and rolled her eyes.  
"But that means it's gonna happen, right? You found that axey thing, so all the stuff is going to happen? You are Spike are going to get together?" Dawn stood back up excitedly, talking to her sister.  
Buffy was pissed. _They had NO right to tell these girls things about my PERSONAL life! Those were private things that happened between Spike and me! Not me, Spike, and a room full of my friends and a group of pimply tennagers! What am I doing? This isn't my life! None of that has happened yet. It may not at all!  
_The Slayer spoke threw clenched teeth, looking at her sister, "Just because I found the Scythe does NOT mean everything is going to come true. For all we know, this was just another one of Spike's fantasies!" Spike flinched slightly at her words, and decided it was time for him to retire to the basement. Pulling his hand out of her grasp, he left the room. That was the first time Buffy had even realized their hands had been joined. She sighed, closing her eyes, the last thing she meant to do was hurt him like that, especially in front of everyone. Buffy opened her eyes and peered at Dawn, "Go to your room."  
"But Buffy, I didn't…"  
"Now."  
Dawn huffed, and ran upstairs, the loud _clang_ of her bedroom door slamming shut echoed through the house.  
Buffy looked around the room. Unexpectedly, Buffy tossed the weapon to Willow, who caught it, although almost dropping it. (A/N: Warning: Unless you have Slayer, Witch, or any other supernatural abilities, do not throw sharp weapons around your house. ;-D)  
"Find out what you can. I'll check into what Spike saw, but find anything else. Anything at all."

Spike was sitting on his cot, fag in mouth.  
_I still don't know what it means finding that damn thing. And Buffy! One second she's all 'oh, Spike, wouldn't it be wonderful if your dream vision was true?' and the next she's all 'that is NOT going to happen!' Bloody bint. She'll be the death of me. Oh hail the dark queen of mixed signals! _  
As hard as Spike tried to focus his anger on the Slayer, he just couldn't. "Stupid, worthless…"  
"Talking about me?" Came a voice from the stairs.  
Looking up he smiled slightly. Buffy walked over to the cot, sitting next to him.  
"No, pet. Talking about me."  
Leaning against the wall, she looked at him for a while. Then, reaching out, she took the cigarette from his mouth, and put it to her own. Taking a long drag…Buffy began to cough.  
"Bloody hell woman, what are you doing?!" Spike took the fag from her and threw it to the ground. He was on his knees, leaning over her.  
She smiled when she stopped coughing. "I just wanted to see what it's like. Wanted to see if it'd make me feel…bad. I don't know, all the bad guys do it." She shrugged, as he both looked at her like she was insane, and smiled at her. "Besides, I like the smell."  
"You _like_ the smell of cigarette smoke?" He looked at her, again, like she was crazy.  
"What? It's your fault! You're the one who always smells like smoke and alcohol, and leather…and…" She looked at him, smirking at her and stopped, also knowing this conversation was going no-where good. "I uh-came down here to see if you were okay. What I said upstairs…I just want you to know I…"  
"You did mean it."  
"…I did. But not the way it sounded."  
"And how exactly was it supposed to sound?"  
"It…I was mad, okay? I just feel like it's not right for the girls to know those things. And not just because of how young they are…but because…I should know before them."  
Spike looked at her curiously.  
"I'm not sure, okay? We don't know if those things are going to happen, and I feel that it's wrong for them to know…before I do. It doesn't matter to them whether it will happen or not. And it's so simply for them! And I just want it to be that simply for us!"  
Spike understood, as he looked at her. She had tears in her eyes and she looked so torn. Spike edged himself closer to her, wrapping his arms around her.  
They sat like this for a few minutes; Spike could feel a few tears fall from Buffy's face and onto his arm. Breaking the silence, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper, "Tell me you'll always love me."  
He was surprised at this, but didn't skip a beat. "I'll always love you."  
"Tell me you'll always be there for me." She turned, facing him. They looked each other in the eyes.  
"I'll always be there for you."  
Slowly but surely, Buffy brought her lips to his in a soft kiss. She moved, sitting on him, and deepened the kiss. After several more minutes, each of their hands roaming, Spike pulled back, resting his forehead on hers. "Buffy…" He seemed out of breath, even though he didn't need to breath. "We can't."  
"Why not?"  
"Last year…"  
"Last year, we both hurt each other. You just told me you loved me, and that you'd be there for me. That's more than last year, and I think we've both moved on to were we won't hurt each other like that."  
She kissed him, and mentally swore when she felt him pull back again. And he was mentally kicking himself for not giving in.  
"How can you be sure, that it won't end up like that again? I'm not willing to lose our…friendship…I can't."  
Buffy was quiet, as she got off him, and took her seat beside him again. "I guess your right. We can't know for sure." She looked him in the eyes again. "But I trust you." She placed her hand over his. "But do you trust me?"  
Spike had never seen her so persistent, although it wasn't like he had ever given her any need to be. "I do."  
"Then what are you scared of?"  
She kissed him again.  
This time Spike didn't stop her as she climbed on top of him.

When Spike opened his eyes, the basement was halfway filled with sunlight from the little window on the other side of the room. He smiled remembering last night, and smiled even bigger when he realized there was a tiny figure clinging to him in her sleep.  
Sighing contently, he closed his eyes again, and felt Buffy snuggle even closer into his embrace. This was the first time she had stayed, and that was worth everything.

When Spike opened his eyes again the cot beside him was empty. _Of course, it was a dream you ponce! Like she would ever sleep with you._ Spike sat up in frustration. "God damnit!"  
Buffy, who apparently had been standing in the corner the whole time smiled, as she walked over to him, "Don't you damn god at me. He may have damned you, but I don't think I'm quite ready for that." Her smile grew as she leaned over and kissed him.  
"You got dressed." He poked at her shirt. (The same one she had on yesterday.)  
"I did. It's an American thing. We prefer not to walk around naked all day."  
"I'm offended by that!" Spike said in mock-anger.  
"I bet you are. Come on! You would walk around naked upstairs if I would let you!"  
"Hey, I would not. Not with all the prying eyes up there. You should see it when I try and take a shower in this place! 'Oh sorry, didn't know you were in there.' 'Oops! I thought someone left the water on!'" He said in a feminine voice.  
"Oh you have to go through so much." Buffy laughed, kissing his jaw line.  
"As a matter of fact…" He took her by the shoulders and flipped her down, so he was laying over her. "I do." Spike kissed her.

Thirty minutes later Buffy and Spike came into the kitchen, holding hands…again.  
"Hey Buffy." Willow smiled cheerfully. Her, Dawn, and Giles were sitting in the kitchen.  
"Hey. Where's everybody?"  
"The girls are in the living room. Xander let them rent some movies earlier and it's been non-stop chick flick time since." Willow smiled. "You two seem awful comfy. Oh…and I didn't hear you come to your room last night, is everything okay?" Giles looked up from his newspaper for the first time, and Willow smiled, walking out of the room.  
"Wil!"  
The red head smiled over her shoulder, "Just a friendly little payback from tea-time Buffy, that's all." Buffy couldn't help but smile at her and Willow's childish game.  
"What did Willow mean Buffy?" Dawn asked, looking up from her cereal.  
"Well…I uh…me and Spike…we uh…"  
"Oh my god!" Dawn stood up, facing her sister, "You get all mad at me for saying that you and Spike were going to get together and then five minutes later you guys are downstairs in the basement! I knew I heard something weird last night! Ugh!" Dawn stormed upstairs and into her room.  
Buffy looked at Spike, a worried expression on her face.  
"Buffy?" The Slayer had completely forgotten about her father figure being in the room. _Damn._  
"Yeah?" She tried the most innocent look she could muster.  
"Is that true? Did you and Spike…?"  
Looking at Spike, then back and Giles she sat down were Dawn was originally sitting, and faced Giles. "Yes."  
The room was silent for a few more minutes. "Did you mean it?"  
"What?" Buffy seriously didn't want to go there with Giles.  
"Did you mean it? A-Are you together now?"  
Buffy looked at the some-what fidgeting vampire and smiled. "Yes."  
"Good lord." Giles took off his glasses and started to clean them. "I can't stop you?"  
Looking back at Giles she shook her head, "No."  
"You know how I feel about this?"  
"I do."  
"Then be careful." He picked up his paper and his mug and left the room.  
Spike walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You just told your watcher about us." He smiled, whispering into her ear.  
"Yeah…I did."  
Spike turned her around out of the chair and kissed her again. After a few more minutes and much more of things continuing in the wrong way that they planed, Spike was leading her back to the basement. Buffy broke away. "No…"  
She watched him frown in annoyance before continuing.  
"Cot's too small…my room."  
He smiled again, kissing her.  
They practically fell upstairs and into her room, banging around the hallways, making them glad all the Potentials were in the living room. Spike kicked open Buffy's door, her legs were now wrapped around her waist as he was pretty much carrying her. Falling onto the bed they heard squeals and laughter. They broke, Spike now laying over Buffy, and looked across the room. A group of five or six teenage girls sat there, including Dawn. The couple had 'deer caught in headlights' written all over them, still not breaking their position. And Spike realized that somehow on their way upstairs he lost his shirt. "Bloody hell." Spike swore under his breath. As he got off of Buffy and sat down on the bed.  
"Movie over, huh?" Buffy smiled uncomfortably at the girls.

A/N: Heehee. Well…did anybody get my thing about teatime? With Willow and Buffy? Well, that was in reference to their lil spat in…The Killer In Me? I have trouble remembering oh well. I hope you enjoyed this chapter; this ispretty long for me, huh?


	8. Things are good

Not Dead, Still Standing

Chapter 8- Things are good

A/N: Am I the only one who thinks this fic's title is too long? I doubt it. I know there has been major delay…like two months. But I've had hand troubles, and had to wear a brace thingy on it, still don't know what was wrong with it, and I have one or two cracked ribs…so not fun. (You know how I got them? I went to the graveyard and played Buffy! Haha…j/k. Car accident) More than you wanted to know? Okay. Sorry again! R&R!

Dawn sat on her bed listening to the mix Andrew had made her, wondering why the Voyager theme was on it so many times, and thinking about Spike and Buffy.  
_Way more than I needed to see. Way, way, way. Being happy for your sister and her…boyfriend is one thing. Being okay with seeing your sister straddling her shirtless boyfriend with the first button of her jeans undone…that's way down the road in twisted Jerry Springer land. Gah! _  
"Hey." Andrew came bounding in the room, and sat down on her bed. " I heard what happened. Finding Buffy and Spike like that. Must suck for you. Not all the way though, 'cause it was Spike too, and come on, you're still a woman…"  
"Stop now!" Dawn interrupted sharply.  
"Oh. Yeah well, you get to be a family now! You, Buffy, and Spike. Kinda like if Vader didn't die. I mean, couldn't you so see him and Luke, and Leah getting along? They would have been such a great family. It's sad that Padme died though. And how do two people with names like Anakin and Padme have kids named Luke and Leah? I just don't get…"  
"Andrew. Stop making Star Wars references or leave. Go talk to Xander, or somebody else who's seen them."  
"You haven't seen Star Wars? Oh my god! How could you not…"  
"Andrew! Leave! Now!"  
"Dawn?" Buffy walked in. "Andrew, can I have a minute?"  
He hopped off the bed. "Yeah, what about?"  
"Not with you Chewy, with Dawn!"  
Andrew huffed and left the room.  
"Hey." Buffy said softly to Dawn, sitting next to her on the bed.  
"Hi."  
"Listen…about earlier…when you and some of the girls…"  
"Caught you and Spike in the middle?"  
Buffy blushed. "Yeah. I just wanted to say I'm sorry…for yelling at you last night. I was just upset."  
Dawn starred at her sister, a smile slowly spreading across her face. "I'm trying to stay mad at you, but…you and Spike!" The teenager squealed.  
"Dawn?"  
"Yeah."  
"There's one more thing…I know that we didn't really…bond last year, with everything that was going on…and lately, with the girls, it's been hard…but I want you to know I love you."  
"I love you too."  
It was quiet for a second.  
"Buffy?"  
"Huh?"  
"How'd you and Spike get together? What'd you say!" Dawn couldn't conceal her excitement anymore.

Spike closed the basement door on his way out, and looked around, rolling his eyes, catching the end of a conversation between Xander and Andrew.  
"It's not exactly an insult." Xander repeated.  
"It is too! You said I have girl shoulders!" Andrew walked out of the room. Spike just walked away, towards the living room. Normally he would be back down in the basement, but there were a whole bunch of the girl's…delicates hanging around because they needed to "air dry". And Spike didn't feel like hanging around all day starring at little girl…things. He walked into the living room to be met with 5 young girls who immediately stopped talking and looked up at him. He sighed and sat down on the couch trying to ignore the girls. Giggles could be heard and Spike snapped. "What are you going on about? Me and Buffy? Buffy and me? Bed with you lot in the room? Get off it."  
Spike only noticed Kennedy when she started to talk, a sly grin on her face that he wished Buffy would let him slap off. "Actually, we were laughing about how most of the girls have a crush on you, and three of them had plans to see you in the shower today." She said bluntly. "But if you want to talk about Buffy in bed…by all means…"  
Spike glared at her, and to avoid violence on his part, exited the room. On his way down the hall someone bumped into him. "Watch it, will ya?"  
"Sorry." Andrew mumbled, catching Spike's attention was…Andrew's shoulders.  
They were three to four inches higher than normal, lumpy, and he had a little toilet paper sticking out of his collar.  
"Did you stuff your shoulders!" Spike asked rhetorically, trying not to laugh.  
"No." Andrew said immediately, turning red under Spike's gaze.  
Spike couldn't help it, he gave a small chuckle, and slapped Andrew on the back. "Whatever you say Shoulder-Pad." He threw over his shoulder, walking up the stairs.

Seeing Buffy wasn't in her room, Spike thought he'd ask Dawn if she knew where she was. Although it wasn't his exact idea of something fun to do. He was still a little…embarrassed about earlier. The other girls, that didn't bother me, but this was his Dawn!  
Knocking lightly on the door, he stuck his head in.   
Buffy was fast asleep next to Dawn, their arms tangled together.  
Walking over them, Spike took the blanket and covered his girls. His girls. Yeah, things are good.


	9. A turn of Events

Not Dead Still Standing

Chapter Nine-

A/N: Trying something a little different this chapter. It's gonna be from Buffy's POV. Tell me what ya' think.

You know that feeling when you first wake up, and you're lying in bed, warm and content, and everything seems perfect? Your mind isn't focused on how you're going to pay the water bill or how you have a million teenagers living in your house that you have to look over. Well, you know…whichever one applies to you. But in that one moment where you just focus on the good stuff? And everything's okay? This is one of those moments.

I opened my eyes and saw Dawn's sleeping face about five or six inches away from my own. I notice she look's so much younger when she's asleep. She's been so grown-up lately; it's nice to see she's still just my little sister. I notice her multicolored blanket –the one I keep telling her to throw away because it's worn away to nothing- is covering us. Hmm. I get out of bed slowly, making sure not to wake up Dawn. It was dark outside and the house was quiet. I look at the Orlando Bloom clock on Dawn's wall. 11 o'clock.

I knew he would be awake, so I wasn't surprised when I saw Spike sitting on his cot when I snuck down to the basement. He had an old, leatherback book in his hands and was reading, despite the fact that there were only a few candles lighting the room.  
"Hey." I say quietly. Apparently his vamp senses weren't in full kick because he looked startled when he say me, and set down his book.  
"Hey."  
I walk over and sit by him on the cot, taking the book. "Call Of The Wild?"  
"Yeah. Dawn borrowed it from Giles for school, she left it down here. Guess I got nothin' better to do."  
"Have you ever read it before?"  
He gave a small snicker. "'Course. 've read a lot in my time. Comes from a century of nothing and a love for literature I guess."  
It amazed me how much everything had changed. Five years ago Spike was trying to kill me and the hating of each other was strong and mutual. That Spike was tough, or seemed to be. Now he just opening admitted he loves books. Things have changed. Spike has changed. But for the better?  
"Wow. So, you've probably read like…everything."  
"Maybe not everything. But there are a few choice favorites I've read so many times I could quote them."  
"Really, like what?"  
He was quiet for a moment. "Then the liars and swearers are fools; for there are liars and swearers enow to beat the honest men and hang them up."  
I guess my confusion showed on my face because he answered my thoughts.  
"It's Macbeth. Always been a favorite o' mine."  
I smiled at him and put my hand on his.  
"Buffy…" he sighed. "I think we should talk."  
That doesn't sound good.  
"About what?"  
"Us."  
Yeah, defiantly not good.  
"Us?"  
"This-us, it's been happening really fast…"  
"Okay, please tell me your not about to say we should slow down because coming from you-well, it would lead to violence."  
He laughed. "No, that's not what I'm saying. It's just…are you here with me?"  
I looked him in the eye. "I am." I leaned in and kissed him, when I pulled back he was frowning.  
"Is that a bad thing?" I sound like a schoolgirl talking to the quarterback.  
"No, no. Just…I'm still not sure that I'm not just gonna wake up again, and all of this will have been nothing."  
And we're back to the insecurities. "Spike…I know things are confusing right now, but we have to move on. I can't keep going on like this, I need you to be you, and not…William."  
He gave me a confused look.  
"It's not that he's bad or anything-I mean he's not. He's good. That's my point."  
"So…you want me to be…evil?"  
"No! But…what happened to the Spike I knew before…before the soul?"  
And just like that, Spike's confused look turned to anger. In a matter of seconds I had lost him again.  
_-if you've got something to say…  
-Just said it, if you keep holding back you might as well walk out that door.  
-Holding back? You're blind. I've been here, right in it, fighting…scrapping…  
-Since you got your soul?  
-Well, as a matter of fact I haven't been quite relishing the kill the way I used to.  
-You were a better fighter then.  
-I did this for you! The soul, the changes…it's what you wanted!  
-What I want is the Spike that's dangerous, the Spike that tried to kill me when we first met.  
-Oh you don't know how close you are to bringing him back.  
-I'm nowhere near him.  
_Their own voices rang throughout the room.  
"What the hell was that?" Spike snapped, clearly as confused as me.  
"I don't know."  
He started walking up the stairs.  
"Spike, where are you going?"  
"Out." He snapped back, leaving the basement.  
God, why can't we just get this right!  
I ran up the stairs and through the back door, rounding my way around to the front. He was nowhere in sight. Damn…he must have ran as soon as he got out of the house. Not a good sign.

When I walked in memories flooded my mind.  
_ You didn't think you could keep the truth from her forever, did you? Maybe  
if you had been more honest with her in the first place, you wouldn't be trying to make  
yourself feel better with a round of Kick The Spike._

But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but ... after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again ... do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways ... (softly) Every night I save you.

I can't love you, I'm just being weak and selfish…and it's killing me. I have to be strong. I'm sorry…William.  
  
_He left. Town. I'm surprised he didn't tell you. He kind of left in a hurry, I guess.) Sure I can't get you something? I've got Bugles and, uh, liverwurst...  
_  
Me and Spike have been through hell and back, and this place triggered all of those memories. Everything looks pretty much the same, _**I** _mean there are a few changes. Well, just one…there's a lot of food wrappers and trash on the floor. Clem's most likely. Yep.   
Spike's crypt. How long will I keep calling it that? He hasn't lived here in months. Will it always be Spike's crypt? Will I always think of this cemetery as Spike's territory? Great, more unanswered questions.  
One thing's clear, Spike's not here.  
As if the fates heard her, Spike came barging in the crypt, and when he saw her stopped in surprise. "Bollocks."  
"Spike…look, about what I said I didn't…"  
"Don't say you didn't mean it, 'cause you did. We both now it. We were both there, hell, we were both there twice."  
"About that…"  
"Look Slayer, I don't know why we're here, or why I saw what I saw, or whatever. I'm not sure if it's gonna happen, or if it has happened. But all I know is that if we were given a second chance…it's not to go through the same steps."  
"I know that!" I say quickly so he can't interrupt me again. "And I also know that things are different. Different from anything we've ever gone through, be we are still doing the same dance. We go back and fourth between being insecure to being in arguments! There is another way, we just haven't found it yet." I pause for a second, knowing my eyes are filled with tears, I look at the cold pavement below my feet. "I need to know you're with me in this."  
When I look up his expression has completely changed. His soft, loving eyes are staring at me when he takes me into his arms. He kisses my forehead and whispers into my ear. "I'm with you, I'm in it. It's you and me, pet."

I didn't expect what happened next, I was lost in his embrace, I never saw it coming. Before I could blink there were demons surrounding us on all sides, and more filing in through the door at lightning speed. What's going on? I can hear them start to chant as me and Spike turn to face them. He's already in game face, growling at the intruders, one arm still around me. I could feel my heartbeat quicken, but I knew I wasn't afraid. An adrenaline rush came through me and my slayer senses came alert. I almost wanted this fight. _Always the Slayer._ I kicked at one, but as he fell, another one just took his place. There chanting got louder, I'm not sure when. Maybe it had been this loud and I hadn't noticed, but now it was almost numbing. These demons…these demons. These demons that looked just like all the others. The ones that try to kill me, they all blend together. These scabby, pasty little demons, who are really starting to Piss. Me. Off!  
Time I show them what a Slayer can do when…_Uh oh._ I feel myself weaken, and everything seems to get lighter, darker. I'm dizzy, everything starts to spin. I look over at Spike, -who's now several feet away-, he doesn't look so good either. I fall to the ground and hit my head on the concrete. Trying to look for him-which is hard because I now have blood dripping into my eye from where I hit my head- I see Spike fall too.  
And the last thing I see before everything gets dark is the mass of demons getting closer, and closer._  
_

"Love is fire. But whether it's gonna warm your heart or burn your house down you can never tell."  
---Jason Jordan


End file.
